You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
