Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
