Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could order shots online.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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