I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
