Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
