how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
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Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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