so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
