I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
