I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
