I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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