GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
