dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
