The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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