New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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