I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My ass is underappreciated
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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