My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.