If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.