I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
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Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
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Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol