We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm having to shit out rocks
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