hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize