I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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