Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
