I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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