I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
did i walk over a car last night?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
