I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
