did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
whose parrot is this?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
