Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize