margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
