I want to walk on stilts...naked
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize