Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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