I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
why is half of my head shaved?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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