I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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