I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
what food is Colorado known for?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.