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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Define "chronic" masturbator.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic

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