Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
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I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
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I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?