Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says

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(905): View more from Toronto

so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

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(845): View more from New York

They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.

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19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?

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(216): View more from Ohio

First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.

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(636): View more from Missouri

You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice

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