Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

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  (901): Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/fpgv
  Replies (16) Good night (3433) Bad night (628)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...

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  (469): i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine... http://tfl.nu/msgo
  Replies (34) Good night (12965) Bad night (950)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?

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  (620): How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline? http://tfl.nu/r7ot
  Replies (16) Good night (7287) Bad night (810)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.

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  (772): The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again. http://tfl.nu/7v1u
  Replies (28) Good night (641) Bad night (4877)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?

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  (847): Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine? http://tfl.nu/wblw
  Replies (39) Good night (4054) Bad night (1777)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed

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  (631): I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed http://tfl.nu/2zh5
  Replies (9) Good night (2646) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.

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  (727): Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today. http://tfl.nu/0xc9
  Replies (5) Good night (1490) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Marco

  (954): View more from Florida

  Polo

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  (954): These days, you and me are swimming in dicks. (1-954): Marco (954): Polo http://tfl.nu/zk92
  Replies (6) Good night (2551) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

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  (281): Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me. http://tfl.nu/lutc
  Replies (11) Good night (514) Bad night (1561)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....

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  (708): Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts.... http://tfl.nu/shwj
  Replies (11) Good night (756) Bad night (2432)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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  (740): I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state. http://tfl.nu/rhx6
  Replies (6) Good night (1474) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES

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  (301): Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES http://tfl.nu/onhh
  Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.

  (310): View more from California

  Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?

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  (562): You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed. (310): Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon? http://tfl.nu/cki1
  Replies (2) Good night (902) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.

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  (845): I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops. http://tfl.nu/fks7
  Replies (2) Good night (515) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?

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  (415): I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms? http://tfl.nu/krzn
  Replies (1) Good night (750) Bad night (180)

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