Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES