Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.