I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?