You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
