I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night