I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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