Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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