didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize