THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
