Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize