My first STD was from a foam party
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
