i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
