I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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