I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We are all done wearing pants today
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
