Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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