end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
