I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I AM VODKA MAN
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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