and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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