I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
why do cheetos always look like penises
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
