Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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