After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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