Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
