Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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