I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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