I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
