You can't motorboat a personality
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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