I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
