So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
